Heartbreak Hotel

*Post taken from my journal, Tablet of Your Heart

Last night Jonatha received her semi-annual spanking from me. Any of you who know my daughter knows that her rebellion is rare. Last night Aidan, a commoner amongst rebels, decided he wanted to brush his teeth at the same time as his big sissy. So he proceeded to snap her underwear to get her to move over. I heard this happen, then a loud thud (that distinct sound to all parents as fist to bone). Jonatha had punched Aidan square in the back.

Now, while a part of me was proud of her resilience against the brotherly warfare of her younger sibling (also known as Sir Aidan, Constant Battler of Peace), I knew in my heart I must discipline my daughter, for at the Tighe house, hitting is never acceptable. So I called her out into the room and asked her to meet me in my bedroom. This is the moment when my daddy in me just breaks. I have always wanted a little girl because there are so few on my side of the family. All my life, as I dreamed of being a daddy someday, I have longed for a daughter. So, when it comes time to discipline, I struggle with emotions that break my heart. Yet, I hear God's voice clearly..."He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" Proverbs 13:24. Wait, does this mean I can spare my daughter (it clearly says son)? Uh...no, it doesn't mean that, Peter. Darn!

So, I have a talk with her and give her two firm swats on her backside. You should've seen her face. Determination hath no competition. She was not going to cry in front of her daddy. I told her to request of Aidan his forgiveness and finish getting ready for bed. As she walked off, I heard the outpouring of her soul's pain as she began to cry intensely. Oh that hurts my heart, Lord, I exclaim. And then, gently, God answers..."Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you" (Deuteronomy 8:5). You see, I am convinced that the process of the discipline of our children is just as much a process of our personal growth in Christ. Every time I have to discipline my children, I hear God whisper to me, "Peter, your heartache right now is how I feel when you depart from my ways." Oh, how that turns my stomach! And it's true, you know. God desires from us holiness. He desires so deeply for us to be home with him. He longs for that sweet, perfect fellowship with his children. And when we sin, we interrupt that fellowship.

I personally had a very weak moment this week. I allowed my mind to go somewhere it shouldn't and I literally felt the heartache of God's Spirit in me. I felt sick inside knowing that my sin was separating me from God at that moment. Yet, later, I felt comforted by God in that he had forgiven me because of His Son. Job 5:17, "Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty." It is such a blessing to be a child of God. Though he disciplines me, I know it's done in love. And I know that one day, at home in heaven, he will embrace me with the greatest of embraces from a Father to his son.

I can't wait!